People Hate My Books

Ever since I was a little boy, I have loved films. My tastes and ideas of what constitutes a good movie have evolved and changed over the years, as has my idea of what kind of films I enjoy. (Note that those are sometimes two entirely different things.)

With that, let me present to you one of my favorite movies from my childhood. It is a movie indelibly etched in my brain matter. I will love this film until my dying day, when I demand to have it on an endless loop in my bedroom while wearing a Napoleon hat and accusing the nurse of slowly murdering me by poisoning the vanilla pudding.

That film named is MegaForce:

MEGAFORCE

Megaforce starred a man whose hair and headband defy criticism, Barry Bostwick:

Barrys Thumb

 If you’re still unconvinced, you leave me no choice but to pull out the big guns:

ShimmerSuit

By most accounts, this film is just as astoundingly terrible as it looks. From the acting and directing, to the costume and set design, everything about it is hilariously bad. Reviewers hated it and so did audiences. I’m fairly sure that even the studio behind it hated it because after they threw $20 million in Megaforce’s direction (clearly spent on dune-buggies and hair stylists) it earned a paltry $5.68 million at the box office; ensuring the end of many careers and killing any hope for a shiny-suited sequel.

Regardless of the ample evidence that indicates that this movie is so bad its own mother would disown it, I loved it. I watched it on VHS so many times I think I wore out the tape. Either that or my mother got tired of me watching it and then terrorizing (or was it saving *winky face*) the neighborhood on my bicycle as a member of my own Megaforce and it she disposed of it. Either way, I don’t own a copy of it at present. The point I am trying to make is that despite it being by most measures a terrible movie, I thought it was the best thing ever. During the climax, Commander Ace Hunter (Barry Bostwick) misses the last plane out of the battle zone. Undaunted, he uses his motorcycle (which is equipped with missiles and guns, naturally) to catch up to the plane and escape . . . While it is in flight. Watch this and be forever changed:

Some have argued that this movie was intentionally cheesy and campy. That may be true. However, my brain at the time didn’t process “cheese” and it didn’t understand “camp” but it absolutely knew what it was seeing was something amazing.

So why am I talking about this and what does it have to do with this post’s title? (You’ve likely forgotten it by now due to Bostwick’s mind-boggling jumpsuit, so I’ll remind you. It’s People Hate My Books.)

To be clear, I haven’t released any books. I plan to, but none have officially been released yet. When I do release my books, I sincerely hope people enjoy them and love them. I am sure there are a good number that will appreciate the stories I have chosen to tell and love the characters I have brought to life. It will feel amazing that I played even a miniscule part in their lives.

However, what I have had to come to terms with and what this post is attempting to convey, is that there will without a doubt be people who do not like my work. There will be people who actively loathe my stories and characters and will say as much on blogs and review sites. There will be those who snicker at my attempts, and I have to accept that.

I know that despite that being an inevitable part of publishing any work publicly, it will be a horrible feeling. It will make me rethink the whole idea of writing at all. I will take it far too personally and denigrate the writers of the reviews in my mind as “not understanding the work.” I will discount their review, as they are “total and complete idiots.” I will mentally spar with the content in their review and top it off with an “I hate you, because you suck.”

I console myself with the idea that I loved Megaforce more than some of my siblings. I loved a piece of work so objectively terrible that the only person to escape with their career intact is the Commander himself.

No matter how skilled of a writer I become or how great of an author you may become, there will be people out there who think you are terrible at it. There will also be people who, no matter how objectively terrible you or I may be at crafting stories, will adore what we have created. There is a certain amount of awesome in that either way.

So if you read my work and decide to write a negative review, it’s ok.

I’m not your Megaforce.

You’re just a stupid-head who wouldn’t know a good book if it hit you in the face, objectively speaking.