I don't know if I have what it takes to be a writer.
I know how to put words together to form sentences, words, and even paragraphs. Occasionally I can even put them together to make a chapter and eventually a book. So the mechanical aspects of the English language I have a pretty good handle on... I think. Some people may argue that fact, but regardless that is not the reason I don't think I can be a real writer.
I have many ideas in my head that I would like to write about. Right off the top I can think of at least 5 ideas aimlessly stumbling around in my brainspace. Not all of them will be built into books, but they exist so they have the potential to do so. Not having my idea bank full enough isn't why I don't think I can be a writer either.
Having made more than a few contacts within the community of writers and authors I have noticed something that most of them have that I do not. It's something I don't have and will never have. It is something that may cause me to be ostracized within the literary community, and quite possibly even make me a pariah.
My hope is that this revelation about myself won't damage my chances too much as a burgeoning writer. I can imagine once this is made public that I will likely lose Twitter followers in droves, which will be sad but I must be true to myself.
So... here is my confession:
I am not a fan of... cats.
I am so... so sorry. I never meant to hurt any of you. I consider many of you friends and as such, this revelation may have hurt you because it feels like a betrayal of an unwritten writer's code of conduct. Maybe it is a written code of conduct and I just am not privy to that information yet. Whatever the case may be, I clearly am violating that code.
Why else would there be a near unanimous adoration of the feline species among literary types?
It's no exaggeration to say that the love of cats by writers far surpasses the general populace of the world at large. Cat photos, cat stories, cat videos, cat poetry... Twitter and Facebook accounts solely devoted to their cats that have more followers than their own accounts.
The affinity for cats among writers is undeniable. I am not mocking that fact at all. That's great. I love that you love your cats! I just... can't share in that affection.
So here I am. Laying my soul bare for all of my new friends and acquaintances. I understand I may take a decent amount of flak for this announcement... but I am willing to weather the storm to stand up for who I am.
I may even find myself cornered by a group of angry cat lovers one day... who have their dastardly little felines casually mince over to me and alternate between rubbing their furrynesses against my legs and taking chunks out of my skin with their claws until I go insane and bleed out in a dirty gutter somewhere. That could happen.
In my defense, I don't hate cats. I don't hate cats at all. I actually think the occasional cat video is good for the soul. I chuckle at Angry Cat memes, and I used to check out every single Garfield collection out at the library as a child. I don't have anything against cats. I really don't.
I just don't LOVE cats. And for that... I am sincerely sorry. I hope we can still be friends. However if my admission of cat... indifference... has left you cold, then I wish you the best.
I also hope that I am allowed to continue in my attempt to join the ranks of the literary crowd, but if not, I understand.
So what do you say... all of writerdom? May I be a writer despite my... indifference... concerning cats?